Jag försökte inte nynna ledmotivet för folk. Den som försöker säga det ljuger åtminstone delvis.

Jag var i parken med min tvååriga dotter. Det fanns en sån här där.

IMG_4922

Min dotter väger runt 14 kilo. Jag väger inte runt 14 kilo. Så det funkade inte riktigt att gunga om jag satt på den ena sidan och hon på den andra. Så det vi gjorde istället var att hon satt på ena sidan och jag ställde mig på den andra sidan och så började jag putta den sidan av själva bommen runt, runt, runt framför mig varv efter varv efter varv.

Det fanns två andra föräldrar i parken just då. Den ena var runt 20, alltså ungefär femton år yngre än jag. Den andra var runt 50, alltså runt femton år äldre än jag. Båda två tittade en aning konfunderat på min dotters och min karusellösning. Eller jag upplevde det i alla fall som att de tittade konfunderat. De kanske tittade helt vanligt. Eller så tittade de inte alls. Men jag tittade hur som helst på mig själv där jag gick varv efter varv med fötterna nerborrade i sanden och puttade bommen och gungan framför mig runt, runt, runt medan min dotter ropade ”fottare! Fottare!”. Och när en av de andra föräldrarna tittade på mig, eller hur det nu var, så vände jag mig och gjorde en menande gest och flinade och sa: ”Conan Småbarnsföräldern”.

Och då såg inte den föräldern riktigt ut att begripa vad jag menade, och då insåg jag att det kanske man inte gör om man är 20, så då vände jag mig till den 50-åriga föräldern och sa: ”Du vet. Det här ser ut precis som i början av Conan Barbaren, när Arnold Schwarzenegger är slav och blir tvingad att putta runt den där stora kvarnen varv efter varv ute i öknen och han blir piskad av vakterna och man liksom ser hur hans muskler växer under tiden…”.

Och då sa den 50-åriga föräldern: ”Va?”.

Och det KAN vara jag som är problemet här. Det kan det mycket väl vara.

Och jag tänker verkligen inte stå här och säga att jag på något sätt är för någon form av segregation eller att stänga ute vissa människor från vissa offentliga ytor. Absolut inte. Jag är Team Blanda Folk. Helt och hållet. Överallt. Men ni vet. Jag säger bara att det kändes ändå LITE som en rimlig idé just då att kommunala lekparker kanske borde vara uppdelade efter vilket årtionde föräldrarna är födda under.

För det här med att åldersspannet för småbarnsföräldrar nuförtiden utan problem kan diffa 30 år hit eller dit är verkligen ett seriöst hot mot den popkulturella referenshumorn.

Det är min känsla.

Eller så är det bara jag som är problemet.

När jag försökte citera ”What is best in life? To crush your enemies!” med min Arnold Schwarzenegger-röst, då var det jag som var problemet. Det tror jag att vi kan vara överens om.

Men annars var det bara en idé.

153 kommentarer

  1. Det kanske inte funkade för att du inte drog hela citatet? ”To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women”. Prova det nästa gång.

  3. Nån som är 50 idag var 17 när Conan kom. Ganska oacceptabelt att inte känna till Conan isåfall.

  4. Folk är ju olika. Jag har inte sett Conan, vilket kanske diskvalificerar mig här, men jag skulle inte ha sett den varken som 15-åring eller nu som 48-åring. Det är liksom inte min sorts film. Det kanske inte var deras heller? Jag menar, Arnold… nä. Ain’t gonna happen, varken i den här världen eller någon annan.

  5. Seriöst, folk har fan ingen humor. Jag hade ääälskat att stöta på dig på en lekplats och snacka bort en stund!

  6. Den som inte känner till Conan Barberaren har absolut en brist i sin allmänbildning :/

  7. Kulturskymning. Den som inte har sett Conan Barbaren ska bara skämmas. Säger jag som 40-åring.

  9. ”Conan Småbarnsföräldern” haha XD den skulle ja gå och se på bio! XD ”what is best in life? To sleep in The morning until nine, to se your children eat and dress themselfs without making a sceen, and to make it to daycare without The sound of fighting in The backseat!!”

  10. Var det bara jag hörde stars wars theme i huvudet när den där bilden dök upp på skärmen. Finns ingen dålig ”Vader”, bara dåliga kläder.
    Ingen? …

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