Hur jag gör 3

Jag fick en fråga från två olika håll i förra veckan som både var enkel och svår att svara på: ”Vilken karaktär i ’Björnstad’ tyckte du mest om att skriva?”.

Det enkla svaret är förstås ”alla”, eftersom jag bara kan göra saker och ting lite för mycket. Jag har inga mellanlägen. Men det lite svårare svaret är att jag nog inte tyckte ”mest” om att skriva någon, men att jag kanske KÄNDE mest när jag skrev om Ramona. Jag förstår att långt ifrån alla som läser den här bloggen läser mina böcker, men för vad det är värt så tror jag kanske att sidorna 159 och 160 går att läsa även om man inte har tagit sig igenom resten. Så jag lägger upp dem här, för det ger mig samtidigt chansen att svara på en annan fråga som jag får ganska ofta: ”Bygger dina karaktärer på riktiga personer?”. Och svaret är nästan alltid ja, men en karaktär bygger inte på en person. Det krävs 15-20 riktiga personer för en karaktär. Jag brukar tjata om att det är som apelsiner, det går åt en jävla massa för att få ett litet glas juice. Och när jag har gått runt med karaktärerna i mitt huvud tillräckligt länge så blir de riktiga personer för mig, och då börjar alla känslorna om. Det finns delar av män och kvinnor som jag älskar och har älskat i dem då, på gott och ont.

I just Ramona finns stora delar av några av de allra trasigaste vänner jag har haft, som samtidigt har varit de vänner som allra mest entusiastiskt och kärleksfullt hejade på mig när jag började försöka skriva. De var de som trodde på mig långt innan jag gjorde det själv. Man måste kanske vara lite trasig för att kunna heja på någon annan helt utan verklighetsförankring. För att tro blint.

Några av de här vännerna lever inte längre. Det sörjer jag fan varje dag. Så en hel del av de känslorna hamnade hos Ramona, och jag begrep kanske egentligen inte det förrän boken var färdig. Hon är bråkig och stökig och svår att ha riktigt nära eftersom hon kan göra slut på allt syre i ett rum. Men hon är riktig, för mig. Hon är en hel människa. Jag har varit välsignad med henne i mitt liv, flera gånger. Det har gjort mitt liv rörigare, men det har också gjort det större. Och av alla saker jag pratade med alla mina Ramona om under sena nätter med för svag sprit och för många cigaretter under min uppväxt så var nog inget ämne lika frekvent återkommande som ensamhet.

Jag antar att det är därför jag skriver så mycket om det.

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13 357 kommentarer

  1. Just de här sidorna läste jag faktiskt två gånger häromdagen. För att de berörde och för att jag ville att de skulle sitta kvar just som de skrivits en lång stund. Det låter så enkelt när du skriver ner det – och så är det på samma gång så svårt. Tack för alla dina ord, Fredrik. Jag älskar historierna de tillsammans väver samman.

  2. Fick boken i födelsedagspresent från min syster, som fått den signerad av dig på bokmässan. Läste ut den igår. Satt med den tryckt mot revbenen och grät som ett barn genom hela. Helvete vad du är bra på att skriva.

  3. Jag tror nog att jag tycker bäst om Björnstad av alla dina böcker, mycket för att den har så mycket viktigt att säga som tyvärr behöver sägas. Längtar förfärligt redan nu efter del två.

  4. Hej kära Fredrik 🙂

    Jag har mejlat dig 2 gånger men får bara ett automejl.

    Så testar att skriva en kommentar här också om att läsa din mejl 🙂

    Mvh Katharina

  6. Man kanske skulle läsa den där boken…

    PS. Varför har du värsta IQ-testet som spärr innan kommentaren blir godkänd? Är du rädd för att få korkade kommentarer?

  8. Aj. Jag är där nu. I ensamheten, och det gör så förbaskat ont. Tack för dina ord Fredrik som lättar på det onda.

  9. Har läst både Björnstad & Vi mot er denna veckan. Jag har gråtit och skrattat, de har varit högsommarvärme men jag har för de mesta suttit med gåshud, varje lediga stund har jag dykt ner i boken, morgon, middag, kväll. Haft lite fööööör långa raster på jobbet, fått lägga ner boken för att inte komma ut söndergråten till kunderna, du är så otroligt bra. Så OTROLIGT bra. Sluta aldrig skriva. Snälla?
    Jag väntar på del3 och sen på nästa. Och nästa. Och nästa. I 10 år har jag följt dig, från blogg till blogg till bok till bok. Jag har inte sett ”en man som heter Ove” en film kan aldrig vara lika bra som en bok. Och inga böcker kan vara lika bra som dina. Tack!

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