Hur det här gick till, enligt min familj. (Det var som vanligt inte så här det gick till.)

Jag: Vet ni vart vi ska åka?

Barnen: Nej?

Jag: Till Kolmården! Och vet ni vad det betyder?

Barnen: (Med armarna rakt upp i luften i en fullständigt felriktad lyckoexplosion) Att vi ska få titta på djuuur?

Jag: Nej, men alltså…koncentrera er nu. Morfar och morbror och er kusin ska åka med till Kolmården, och vet ni vad det betyder?

Barnen: (Fullständigt oförstående) Ska inte du och mamma åka med till Kolmården?

Jag: Nej men för helv…alltså, vi ska åka till Kolmården och bo på hotell allihop! Ni och jag och mamma, och morfar och morbror och er kusin ska också åka med! Och vet ni vad DET betyder?

Barnen: (Jätteglada) Att vi ska få bo på hotell med morfar och morbror oc…

Jag: (Eventuellt med marginellt överdriven entusiasm) DET BETYDER ATT JAG SKA FÅ KÖRA MINIBUSS!!!

(Ganska lång tystnad)

Fru: (Med den onödiga tonen) Hur tycker du själv att det här går, älskling? Om du ska betygsätta?

Jag: (Harklar mig) Okej, men vafa…det betyder ju alla de andra sakerna också. Djur och morfar och morbror och kusin…jättekul, jättejättekul. Verkligen. Men det viktiga är ju själva resan och att vi ska hyra en minibu…

Barnen: Finns det giraffer på Kolmården?

Jag: VEM BRYR SIG OM GIRAFFER NÄR JAG SKA FÅ KÖRA MINIBUSS!?

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Möjligen med ett oproportionerligt djupt andetag) Har ni aldrig läst Karin Boye i den här familjen eller? ”Det är vägen, som är mödan värd” och allt det där? Det handlade om att köra minibuss! Tillsammans! Som en f-a-m-i-l-j!

(Tystnad)

Jag: Vart ska ni?

(Tystnad)

Jag: VI MÅSTE BÖRJA ÖVA PÅ A-TEAM-LÅTEN!!!

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