Tala är silver. Hörlurar är guld.

Jag: Alltså vet du vad som stör mig? Vet du det? På allvar? Du vet när man har en bil framför sig vid ett rödljus, och så slår det om till grönt, och så märker inte föraren i bilen framför det. Och så tänker jag ”ska jag tuta?”, men sen tänker jag direkt ”amen nää, jag vill inte vara den där skitstöveln som bara TUUUUT FLYTTA DIG UR VÄGEN FÖR MITT LIV JAG ÄR SÅ JÄVLA VIKTIG SÅ JAG KAN INTE VÄNTA I FYRA SEKUNDER”. Fattar du? Så jag tutar inte. Jag bara väntar tålmodigt och civiliserat och tänker att hen kommer ju märka det alldeles strax och köra. Eller hur? Det är ju så man gör? Men då, plötsligt, så är det en bil BAKOM mig som tutar. Fattar du? Jag har inte tutat men bilen BAKOM bara TUUUUUUUUUUUT! Och då hoppar ju föraren i bilen FRAMFÖR till och bara ”vafan!? Ta det lugnt!” och så vänder sig hen om och tittar ut genom bakrutan. Och då tror hen ju att det är JAG som har tutat! Så jag får liksom skiten fastän det inte var JAG! Och vet du en annan sak som stör mig? Som är samma sak fast tvärtom? När man har en bil framför sig, och så stannar den bilen vid ett övergångsställe och släpper över några gående. Då vänder de gående sig ju om och ler och vinkar tacksamt till föraren av den bilen, eller hur? Men JAG då? Jag stannade ju OCKSÅ! Jag har ju stannat exakt lika mycket som bilen framför. Jag har väntat exakt lika länge. Det här påverkar liksom MITT LIV OCKSÅ men är det någon som ler och vinkar mot MIG? Nä!!! Är inte det störigt? Tänker du på sånt här?

(Tystnad)

Jag: Älskling?

(Tystnad)

Jag: ÄLSKLING!?

Fru: (Tar ut hörlurarna) Va? Ja? Vad skriker du för?

Jag: Du lyssnade inte på mig över huvud taget, eller hur?

Fru: Vill du ha ett ärligt svar?

Jag: Ja!

Fru: Jag skulle tippa på att jag inte lyssnar på dig ungefär 95% av tiden och jag skulle vilja säga att det förmodligen är själva grunden till att vårt äktenskap fungerar så bra som det gör.

114 kommentarer

  1. Fredrik, Fredrik, Fredrik… Du är lysande, briljant och alldeles, alldeles underbar! Jag har läst alla dina böcker och idag också alla dina blogginlägg. Ljuvlig läsning! Dina texter berör, inspirerar och lockar fram både tårar och skratt. Tusen tack för det!

  3. Det är åtminstone synligt med hörlurar. En vanlig ”selektiv hörsel” syns ju inte.

  4. Fredrik! Har visserligen läst dina andra böcker också men nu är jag nästan igenom Björnstad och: vilken fantastisk bok! Jag älskar att den handlar om hockey som jag hatar men när jag läser kan jag komma på mig själv med bah: ”åk nu Amat för hällvättä som bara du kan!!” Lite grann för att du beskriver spelet så jädra fängslande men mest för att man i texten på något vis hör hör mycket du älskar din fru och dina barn.

  5. Jag dör en smula. Jag tutar heller aldrig fastän jag skulle vilja, bara för att det är kul att tuta. Så tutar nissen bakom.
    Hädanefter när jag går över övergångsstället ska jag vinka till ALLA bilar som stannade. Kommer ta lång tid att gå till jobb…juh.

  6. Hej, det är jag igen… I väntan på nästa OS, eller nästa blogginlägg, har jag roat mig med att läsa kommentarerna på dina blogginlägg. Vet du om att du har många roliga läsare?

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