Min sociala förmåga i lekparker. En följetong i förhoppningsvis begränsat antal delar.

Annan förälder som jag precis har träffat: (Säger något skämtsamt om hur jobbigt det kan vara att få sina barn att faktiskt acceptera att det är dags att gå hem från lekparken)

Jag: (Kunde bara ha nickat och sagt ”Men exakt!”. Men känner tydligen att det är bättre om jag erbjuder lite egna tankar också.) Men exakt! Det JAG brukar göra är att jag bara brukar låtsas att jag är ett hemligt Navy Seal-team som ska frita gisslan från terrorister!

(Tystnad.)

Jag: (Blir lite nervös av tystnaden, och tänker därför tydligen att det bästa jag kan göra är att fortsätta prata) Så jag stannar bilen precis utanför, och kutar in i parken va, och inne i mitt huvud så hör jag bara mig själv skrika i en walkie-talkie ”Bravo-Bravo-Zebra, ’Operation Taking The Hobbits To Isengard’ is complete!”, och sen bara ”katten är i påsen! Jag upprepar: Katten är i påsen!”. Och sen bara rusar jag in i parken, sveper med mig två ungar och låtsas att jag skjuter alla terrorister och sen bara vänder jag mig och LUBBAR mot bilen!

(Tystnad.)

Jag: Det är mina egna barn alltså.

Annan förälder: (Ler. Fast mer som man gör om man försöker öppna locket på en burk som sitter väldigt hårt än som man kanske gör om man har hört något roligt.)

Jag: Jag tar mina egna barn, menar jag alltså. Och de är ju oftast med på det. Det är som…en lek. Jag skulle ju inte kuta in och ta DINA barn liksom.

(Tystnad.)

Jag: Och jag låtsas ju bara att jag skjuter terrorister inne i mitt huvud. Som i…en film, alltså. Jag menar inte att jag låtsas skjuta…andra barn.

Annan förälder: (Tittar över parken som man gör om man letar efter till exempel sina barn. Eller till exempel en polis.)

Jag: Eller…du vet. Jag är inte sån. Det var ett skämt. Eller man ska inte skämta om sånt. Det var inte så jag menade. Jag menade att…det inte var det. Eller…

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Tänker tydligen att det är bättre att berätta en anekdot nu.) Men det är ju jobbigt, menar jag, det där som DU sa. När ens barn inte vill gå hem från lekparken. En gång sprang mina barn och gömde sig och sen skulle en annan förälder hjälpa mig att leta, och hon frågade hur mina barn var klädda, och jag kom inte exakt ihåg för jag har svindåligt färgminne, så jag chansade på kläder de brukar ha på sig, och det slutade med att hon fångade någon annans barn. Och den ungens förälder blev…

Annan förälder: (Harklar sig. Ser ut att vara väldigt, väldigt intresserad av sina skor.)

Jag: Eller färgminne och färgminne. Jag vet inte vad det heter. Men jag glömmer vad mina barn har…du vet.

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Det är ungefär här jag tänker att jag ska dra ett annat, mycket bättre, exempel. För att förklara att det första exemplet bara var ett dåligt exempel.) Alltså, det här var ju…men du, vet du en annan grej? När vi precis hade fått vårt första barn så hade min bästa kompis och jag en idé om att vi skulle hämta honom på förskolan som om det var ett avsnitt av A-Team. Så jag skulle smyga runt utanför parken och röka cigarr och låtsas spana, och sen när det var dags så liksom skulle jag hoppa över ett staket och rusa in och skopa upp min son i famnen, och så skulle min kompis och två andra kompisar stanna en stor svart skåpbil utanför grinden och så skulle jag springa dit med min son under armen…och…en av mina kompisar skulle ha såna här feta halsband och en skulle låtsas vara lite…eller…ja. Du vet. Som Murdock. I A-Team.

(Tystnad)

Annan förälder: (Nickar och ler igen. Fast mer som man kanske gör om man har bitit i en bit Lego i mörkret när man trodde att det var en bit blockchoklad.) Jag fattar. Jag fattar. Kul. Kul killar.

(Tystnad)

Annan förälder: (Ser inte ut att ha jättekul.)

Jag: (Kliar mig på halsen, men det ser eventuellt mer ut som att jag klöser mig själv på strupen, och nu så här i efterhand var väl inte det ett helt optimalt kroppsspråk) Jomen såatte…för att göra en lång historia kort så kom vi på att det där med skåpbilen utanför en förskola inte var en jättebra idé. Att det skulle se konstigt ut, menar jag. Plus att jag inte kände förskolepersonalen jättebra. Plus att det kanske är olämpligt det där med cigarr…på…

(Tystnad)

Jag: Men i alla fall: Var det dig min fru pratade med förut om det där med att era barn kanske skulle komma hem till våra barn nu i veckan och leka?

Annan förälder som jag precis har träffat: (Har ingen klocka på sig. Tittar på den ändå.) Vi ska…nog…

Jag: (Harklar mig) Jag går och hämtar min fru. Ibland kan hon förklara mig ur sånt här.

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Tittar över parken. Tittar på annan förälder. Kliar mig på halsen.) Har du sett henne? Hon är mörkhårig. Hon har…jag tror att hon har en sorts jacka på sig.

120 kommentarer

  2. Jag Ler. Fast inte som man gör om man försöker öppna locket på en burk som sitter väldigt hårt ?

  7. Hahahaha så jävla bra! Hade garvat om jag var där! Känner igen mig och min sambo får förklara vad jag menar ibland för andra

  8. Vilken tur att du pratar skånska så den andra föräldern inte förstod ett ord av vad du just sa…

  10. Skrattar och känner igen mig själv. Jag kan trassla in mig något fruktansvärt och inte håller jag käften då inte. Nej nej nej. Försöker bortförklara eller ”bjuda” på en annan anekdot istället precis som du. Men du, den där föräldern var ju tråkig. Vissa har ingen humor eller fantasi och det är ju inte vårt fel eller hur? ?

  12. Ha ha….så grymt roligt. När min man berättade om vad en mamma till ett barn i min sons klass hade sagt och inte visste vad hon hette och jag bad honom beskriva hur hon såg ut så fick jag svaret: ”hon såg ut som en mamma”! Jaha…..då så…..

  13. Men ja skrattade så ja grät. Det är ju fullt logiskt helt perfekta referenser. För en unge uppvuxen i början av 80 talet. Det tragiska är att de inte lika nördiga föräldrarna inte får lika roligt när man leker. 🙂 mer backman referenser åt folket.!! Testa dino riders

  14. men! hur stela föräldrar finns det egentligen? Får de någonsin sina egna barn att skratta åt något…?

  16. I wish to get across my respect for your kind-heartedness supporting women who have the need for guidance on this question. Your special dedication to passing the solution up and down had become wonderfully significant and has specifically helped some individuals like me to get to their objectives. This important guide indicates a lot a person like me and extremely more to my office colleagues. Thanks a ton; from each one of us.

  17. Thank you for all of the labor on this blog. My aunt takes pleasure in doing investigation and it’s really obvious why. I know all relating to the lively ways you render worthwhile items on this blog and even welcome contribution from some others on this situation then our favorite simple princess is now being taught a lot of things. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. You’re carrying out a glorious job.

  18. I wish to express my appreciation to you just for rescuing me from this particular crisis. Just after searching throughout the search engines and obtaining basics that were not helpful, I figured my life was done. Being alive minus the strategies to the problems you have sorted out all through your main post is a serious case, as well as ones which may have in a negative way affected my career if I had not encountered your website. Your own skills and kindness in touching the whole lot was valuable. I am not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a thing like this. I can also at this time look forward to my future. Thanks so much for your high quality and sensible guide. I will not think twice to refer your web sites to anybody who requires guidelines on this area.

  19. Good post. I be taught something tougher on totally different blogs everyday. It is going to at all times be stimulating to read content material from different writers and follow a little one thing from their store. I抎 favor to make use of some with the content material on my blog whether you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l give you a link on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.

  20. I simply desired to thank you very much once again. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have made to happen in the absence of the actual smart ideas shown by you directly on such a concern. It seemed to be a very daunting scenario for me, but finding out the professional tactic you processed the issue took me to jump over delight. I am just happy for the support and thus hope that you know what a great job you’re carrying out instructing the rest all through your web blog. I know that you haven’t encountered any of us.

  21. I simply wanted to compose a small comment to express gratitude to you for these marvelous ideas you are giving out on this site. My particularly long internet lookup has finally been paid with useful know-how to share with my colleagues. I ’d tell you that most of us readers actually are truly fortunate to exist in a great site with very many outstanding professionals with great techniques. I feel very much blessed to have encountered your entire webpage and look forward to many more pleasurable moments reading here. Thank you once more for everything.

  22. I actually wanted to compose a small comment to be able to express gratitude to you for some of the magnificent tips you are placing at this site. My extensive internet investigation has finally been compensated with useful facts and strategies to exchange with my company. I ’d assert that most of us readers actually are extremely lucky to be in a good place with so many lovely people with beneficial suggestions. I feel truly fortunate to have used the weblog and look forward to tons of more amazing times reading here. Thank you again for all the details.

  23. I not to mention my pals were found to be looking at the good suggestions found on the website and then instantly I had an awful feeling I never thanked you for those secrets. All of the people ended up consequently very interested to read through them and already have surely been making the most of those things. I appreciate you for simply being well accommodating and for having this kind of decent resources millions of individuals are really eager to understand about. My sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.

  24. I simply wished to say thanks once again. I am not sure the things that I might have followed without these creative ideas revealed by you over such concern. It previously was a real hard dilemma in my circumstances, however , taking a look at a expert technique you solved that forced me to leap with joy. I am happy for the assistance and wish you realize what a great job your are carrying out educating some other people through your website. I know that you haven’t met any of us.

  25. I have to express my appreciation to you for rescuing me from this type of challenge. Because of scouting throughout the world-wide-web and getting advice that were not powerful, I assumed my entire life was well over. Living devoid of the solutions to the problems you’ve sorted out all through your post is a critical case, as well as those which may have negatively affected my career if I hadn’t discovered your site. Your own personal competence and kindness in maneuvering a lot of stuff was useful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not come upon such a step like this. I can now relish my future. Thanks so much for the skilled and results-oriented guide. I will not hesitate to propose the website to anybody who needs and wants tips on this area.

  27. I simply desired to thank you so much once more. I am not sure what I would’ve used without the type of tactics discussed by you directly on such topic. It had become an absolute terrifying circumstance for me personally, nevertheless taking a look at the very professional avenue you managed that made me to weep with delight. Extremely grateful for the advice and in addition expect you comprehend what a great job that you are providing educating people today all through your webblog. Most likely you’ve never met any of us.

  31. A powerful share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing slightly evaluation on this. And he actually bought me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If attainable, as you become experience, would you mind updating your blog with more particulars? It’s highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!

  37. After examine a few of the weblog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website checklist and will be checking again soon. Pls take a look at my site as nicely and let me know what you think.

  49. It抯 laborious to search out knowledgeable people on this matter, however you sound like you understand what you抮e speaking about! Thanks

  59. Good post. I learn something more challenging on completely different blogs everyday. It’s going to always be stimulating to read content from different writers and observe slightly one thing from their store. I抎 prefer to make use of some with the content material on my weblog whether or not you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l give you a link in your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.

  61. Once I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get four emails with the identical comment. Is there any method you may take away me from that service? Thanks!

  63. It抯 laborious to seek out knowledgeable folks on this matter, but you sound like you already know what you抮e talking about! Thanks

  84. After research just a few of the blog posts in your website now, and I actually like your manner of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site record and can be checking again soon. Pls try my website as nicely and let me know what you think.

  85. Aw, this was a really nice post. In thought I wish to put in writing like this additionally ?taking time and precise effort to make a very good article?but what can I say?I procrastinate alot and not at all appear to get one thing done.

  86. Aw, this was a very nice post. In concept I wish to put in writing like this moreover ?taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article?but what can I say?I procrastinate alot and under no circumstances appear to get something done.

  88. This website online is really a stroll-by way of for all of the data you wished about this and didn抰 know who to ask. Glimpse here, and also you抣l positively discover it.

  90. I抦 impressed, I have to say. Actually not often do I encounter a weblog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have got hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the problem is something that not enough people are talking intelligently about. I am very happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something referring to this.

  91. I抎 have to examine with you here. Which isn’t one thing I often do! I get pleasure from reading a publish that can make people think. Additionally, thanks for allowing me to remark!

  94. There are certainly quite a lot of particulars like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to convey up. I provide the thoughts above as normal inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you convey up the place a very powerful factor shall be working in trustworthy good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around issues like that, but I’m positive that your job is clearly recognized as a fair game. Both boys and girls really feel the impression of just a moment抯 pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

  96. After examine a number of of the weblog posts on your website now, and I really like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website record and shall be checking again soon. Pls try my website as effectively and let me know what you think.

  97. I precisely wanted to thank you very much once more. I am not sure the things I might have achieved in the absence of the tips revealed by you on such area of interest. It absolutely was a terrifying condition for me, however , taking note of the expert avenue you processed the issue made me to leap with joy. Extremely grateful for your help and as well , believe you are aware of a great job your are carrying out teaching many people using a web site. Most probably you haven’t encountered all of us.

  99. After research a couple of of the weblog posts in your web site now, and I truly like your manner of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website listing and will be checking back soon. Pls try my web page as well and let me know what you think.

  101. Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I’m experiencing issue with ur rss . Don抰 know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting an identical rss problem? Anyone who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  104. An interesting discussion is value comment. I think that you need to write more on this matter, it won’t be a taboo subject however usually people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

  108. I was more than happy to find this internet-site.I wanted to thanks for your time for this glorious read!! I positively enjoying every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

  111. Thanks a lot for giving everyone an extremely marvellous possiblity to read critical reviews from this blog. It’s usually so awesome and jam-packed with a good time for me personally and my office colleagues to visit your web site minimum 3 times every week to learn the newest guidance you will have. And of course, I’m certainly motivated considering the surprising hints you serve. Selected 2 tips on this page are without a doubt the most impressive we’ve ever had.

  112. A formidable share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing slightly analysis on this. And he in actual fact bought me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I feel strongly about it and love studying more on this topic. If doable, as you change into expertise, would you thoughts updating your weblog with extra particulars? It’s extremely helpful for me. Massive thumb up for this weblog submit!

  115. Nice post. I be taught something tougher on totally different blogs everyday. It’ll always be stimulating to read content material from different writers and follow a bit something from their store. I抎 prefer to use some with the content material on my weblog whether you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l offer you a link on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.

  117. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read something like this before. So good to search out somebody with some unique thoughts on this subject. realy thank you for starting this up. this web site is something that is wanted on the web, someone with a little originality. useful job for bringing something new to the web!

  120. A formidable share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a bit evaluation on this. And he the truth is bought me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the deal with! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love studying extra on this topic. If possible, as you grow to be expertise, would you thoughts updating your blog with extra particulars? It is highly helpful for me. Large thumb up for this blog publish!

Lämna en kommentar

Din e-postadress kommer inte publiceras. Obligatoriska fält är märkta *