Mitt föräldraskap. Lite mer om hur det går.

(Efter att mitt barn har fått något. Vad det nu var. Jag minns inte längre för jag har huvudvärk.)

Jag: Och vad säger man då?

Barn: Va?

Jag: Vad säger man när man får något?

Barn: Vem var det som fick något?

Jag: Du!

Barn: Ja?

Jag: Och vad säger man då?

Barn: Vem?

Jag: Vad säger man när man…eller vad…alltså, vad säger DU?

(Tystnad)

Barn: Jag sa inget.

Jag: Men vad SKA du säga när du får något?

Barn: ”Snälla”.

Jag: Ja…jo…jättebra. Man säger ”snälla” om man vill ha något. Men om man FÅR något, vad säger man då?

Barn: Får vad?

Jag: Vad som helst!

Barn: Vad som helst?

Jag: Ja!

Barn: Får jag en Ninjagosparkcykel?

Jag: Va?

Barn: Du sa vad som helst!

Jag: Ja men inte…det var ett exempel…vad säger man när man FÅR något!?

Barn: Vad man säger?

Jag: Ja vad säger man?

Barn: Vad MAN säger?

Jag: Ja vad säger MAN?

(Tystnad)

Barn: Vilken man?

Jag: Man…en man vem som helst! Du! Vad säger du när du får något?

Barn: En Ninjagosparkcykel?

Jag: Till exempel!

(Tystnad)

Barn: ”Vilken cool Ninjagosparkcykel”.

Jag: (Tappar möjligen tålamodet lite) Nej! TACK!

Barn: (Skakar på huvudet) Det säger man om man inte vill ha något.

Jag: Vilket?

Barn: ”Nej tack”. Om man inte vill ha något säger man det.

Jag: Ja men om man…eller man…du vet vad jag menar! Man säger TACK!

Barn: Varsågod.

Jag: Nej…men inte när man…vad säger man…

Barn: När någon säger ”tack” säger man ”varsågod”.

Jag: Ja!

Barn: Just det!

Jag: Och när säger DU tack?

Barn: När jag får en Ninjagosparkcykel.

Jag: Jamen inte bara när du får en Ninjagosparkc…man säger tack! Tack säger man!

Barn: Varsågod.

Jag: Men int..okej, vi testar så här då: Varsågod!

Barn: Va?

Jag: Alltså, vi byter plats, fattar du? Jag säger: Varsågod! Och vad säger du då?

(Tystnad)

Barn: Vill DU ha en Ninjagosparkcykel?

Jag: Va?

Barn: Du kanske kan önska dig en av Tomten. Men då måste du vara snäll och säga ”snälla”.

Jag: JAG VILL INTE HA EN NINJAGOSPARKCYKEL!

Barn: Du kommer inte få någon Ninjagosparkcykel om du skriker. Det är inte snällt att skrika.

Jag: (Andetag. Andetag. Andetag.) Men vad i helv…vad säger man OM man får en…om man får…om…vad som helst! Vad säger man om man får vad som helst?

Barn: Till Tomten?

Jag: Ja! Vad säger man till tomten om man får något?

(Tystnad)

Barn: Snälla Tomten kan min pappa få en Ninjagosparkcykel?

Jag: Tack!

Barn: Varsågod.

Jag: ”Tomten kan min pappa få en Ninjagosparkcykel, TACK!”.

(Tystnad)

Barn: (Suckar djupt. Viskar mycket tålmodigt) Neeej. Vad säger man till Tomten, pappa?

Jag: Va?

Barn: (Klappar mig på handen) Man säger ”snälla”.

(Längre tystnad)

Jag: Du gör det här med flit, eller hur?

262 kommentarer

  1. Jag gissar att om 20 år är det ditt barn som skriver en rolig blogg med stor igenkänningsfaktor. Han har något att brås på och verkar redan ha en rätt rolig humor.

  2. Det är vår son eller dina texter som får mig o min man att vrida sig av skratt. Tårarna sprutade igår när jag läste upp detta för honom o min lille hoppade av mitt skratt där han låg i babybjörnen. Tack!!?

  3. Du som verkar vara pedagogiskt lagd kanske kan hjälpa mig med min 9-åriga dotter. Efter som hon konstant hävdar att hon inte förstår mig när jag försöker förklara så kanske hon förstår dina förklaringar? Kanske en bok om barnuppfostran nästa? ☺

  4. När min son var liten och vi höll på att lära honom just såna där små artigheter rapade han högt en gång och jag frågade vad man säger då. Han funderade en bra stund och försökte sen: ”Tack… för lånet?”

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