Jag är ledsen att jag säger det här, men Stockholm är faktiskt på många sätt en plågsamt ytlig stad. Man kan prata med andra vuxna om Appleuppdateringar och jaktlicenser och bostadspriser hur mycket som helst utan att anses vara det minsta konstig. Ingen viskar och gör luftcitationstecken till sin sambo i hallen när de beskriver en som ”intressant personlighet” medan man är på toaletten om man har velat diskutera grillning eller skillnaderna på highland- och islaywhisky eller hur konstigt det är att alla barn ska lära sig crawla istället för att bröstsimma på simskolorna nuförtiden. Men försöker man föra in samtalet på minsta lilla själslighet eller andlighet eller något som faktiskt betyder något på r-i-k-t-i-g-t så backar folk som om man hade nyst på dem vid bagagebandet på Arlanda och mumlat ”ursäkta, mjältbrand, bara”.
Det är förstås ingenting nytt, det har alltid varit svårt att diskutera teologi med folk i den här delen av världen. Det finns så mycket fördomar och rädslor inför allt som inte kan ses med blotta ögat eller förklaras med en försäljningsalgoritm, speciellt bland människor som kanske är nyinflyttade och inte har bott i en storstad så värst länge utan att är vana vid landsbygdens mer pragmatiska livssyn. Jag försöker hysa stor förståelse och respekt för det. Människor är instinktivt rädda och skeptiska för att tala om en tro på något högre, något allseende, något större än oss människor. Så när jag berättade för alla på det här kalaset om vad jag precis varit med om, vilket helt uppenbart var ett gudomligt ingripande, då förväntade jag mig en del höjda ögonbryn och ett och annat himlande med ögonen. Jag var förberedd på ett visst obekvämt mumlande och oproportionerligt utdragna vokaler i alla svar som började med ”okej”.
Men att hånskratta och börja jämföra mig med folk som ringer kvällstidningarna för att de har ”hittat en tomat som ser ut som Jesus”, där drar jag faktiskt gränsen. Det är fan inte okej.
Jag försökte bara dela med mig här. Jag sa inte ens att det här var en religiös upplevelse, jag tycker inte tvunget att det måste vara religiöst att säga att man har sett en ängel. Jag sa bara att här skulle vi på barnkalas hela familjen, inne i Stockholm, och jag stannade och släppte av min fru och mina barn på en av stans trängsta gator, som är enkelriktad. Och så sa jag: ”Jag åker och letar parkering då”. Och sedan svängde jag ut på gatan. Och sedan parkerade jag.
Jag.
Parkerade.
Bara.
Jag sa ”jag åker och letar parkering” och svängde ut på gatan och där fanns en ledig parkeringsplats så då bara parkerade jag där. SOM OM DET VORE SÅ LIVET BORDE GÅ TILL!
Precis utanför huset som vi skulle till. Jag kunde se bilen från fönstret i våra kompisars lägenhet. Jag stod där med fjärrkontrollen och bara ”kolla!” och så låste jag den. Och öppnade den. Och låste den. Och öppnade den. Från fönstret. Jag hade kunnat luta mig ut och kasta något på den, så nära stod den. Jag förstår att inte alla förstår det, om man till exempel nyligen har flyttat till en lite större stad eller kanske inte kör bil så ofta eller kanske bara går runt i världen och tror att plats, det är något som man bara får.
Men jag har bott i närheten av Stockholm i åtta år. Jag har hört andra prata om att det här har hänt någon som de känner, och jag har försökt, verkligen verkligen försökt, behålla min tro. Men jag ska erkänna att det har funnits dagar när jag har vacklat i min övertygelse. När jag har cirkulerat varv efter varv runt samma kvarter och vrålat mot himlen ”varför har du övergivit mig? Det här kan inte ens vara bilar som någon använder, de har för fan stått här i flera DAGAR!!!”. Jag har väntat. Jag har bett.
Åtta år. Och det här är första gången parkeringsängeln har nedstigit framför min bil, mitt i Vasastan, pekat på mig och viskat: ”Nu Fredrik, nu är det din tur.”
Jag tänker för i helvete inte stå här och få det jämfört med en tomat.
Och nej, jag tänker inte flytta bilen. Det är städdag här nästa torsdag. Tills dess åker den här familjen kollektivt. Vi helgar parkeringsängeln.
Jag förstår!
Underbart beskrivet!
….jag förstår problemet likväl som jag förstår att det finns bilar i Tjockholm med båtfendrar fram och bak som monteras på efter utförd parkering för att minimera risken för parkeringsskador från andra bilar som ska fickparkera! 🙂
Förstå känslan av att ha en kontorskollega och vän som flera gånger i veckan hade en parkeringsängel. Oavsett om vi hade kontoret på Kungsholmen, Söder eller Östermalm så parkerade hon högst ett par meter från dörren. Oftast precis framför. Om jag kom 2 minuter före så var det fullt, men lagom tills hon kom åkande ner för gatan så åkte en bil så hon fick plats.
Igenkännelsefaktorn är hög i detta inlägg.
Själv hade jag en liknande änglalik upplevelse när jag saxade mig fram på Essingeleden.
Alla stod stilla, men lucka på lucka gjorde det fullt möjligt för mig att hålla jämna 40km/h och slalomåka mig förbi.
Som en chef.
Bilkö-änglen.
Och som vanligt är jag tvärsämst på att marknadsföra min egen sida.
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Helt. Under. Bart!
Love u!
Vill ju egentligen inte antyda något men du känner till det franska talesättet att man är bedragen om man får en parkeringsplats rakt utanför dit man ska???
Just sayin’
Jamen va fan, dubbelparkera i närmaste korsning, ta med regskyltarna upp på kontoret, var en man. Torskat du ändå så har du råd att ge dem fingret. FJOLLA…
PS
Gillar dina böcker i.a.f. 😉
DS
Va? //Norrlänningen
Fred: Är det ett talesätt? På riktigt? Fransmän är fan genier.
Anna: Fy fan. Fy. Fan.
Tja, skall man bo i Stockholm så blir det så här. Varje gång jag är i Stockholm ser jag 1 miljon bilar ute i trafiken. Alla dessa kan ju inte bara köra runt hela dagen. De blir lite som stolsleken. När musiken är över gäller det att hitta en plats annars är man ute.
Håller med Lena – norrlänningen… Va? Förstå’ int’ rikti’ va’ ni prat’ om. 🙂
En text som har en viktig underton samtidigt som jag vet att dem leder till nåt absurt fredrikbackmanskt familjebarnförälderhändelse. Tio poäng.
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