Bloggen tillfälligt avstängd på grund av bristande virusskydd

Jaha.

Bloggen har inte dött, tack. Även om jag nästan har gjort det. Jag jinxade ju mig själv och sa att jag nästan hade gått igenom ett helt jullov utan att bli sjuk och ta mig fan om jag då inte fick vinterkräksjukan och sen influensa. Och sen fick båda mina barn också influensa, och sen visade det sig att det inte var samma influensa som jag precis hade haft så då fick jag deras influensa också.

Jag vet inte om det har framgått tidigare, men mitt immunförsvar är ett synnerligen ömtåligt och finstämt instrument. Jag kan bli sjuk i ett tomt rum. Det är en talang jag har. Och när jag väl blir sjuk så går jag igenom alla tillgängliga känslolägen som existerar en gång var tionde minut ungefär. Euforisk, hysterisk, deprimerad, sökande, längtande, tragisk, dramatisk, entusiastisk, lycklig, olycklig. Jag svettas, jag får frossa, jag vill vara ensam, jag klarar inte av att bli lämnad, jag känner mig instängd, jag får fönstret i huvudet.

Min fru säger att det är som att ”leva med en mimare. Som pratar hela tiden.”

Dessutom är jag övertygad om att jag har dragits med åtminstone tre eller fyra andra allvarliga sjukdomar som jag har läst om på Wikipedia. Min fru säger att två av dem inte ens har existerat på mer än hundra år men jag är en unik personlighet så jag tänker inte utesluta någonting. En god vän till mig som är läkare berättade en gång under en middag att det finns en typ av patientbeskrivning som används bland personalen på sjukhuset där han jobbar som lyder ”hypokondriker med hybris”. Han sa inte specifikt att det stämde in på mig. Men han hade liksom ingen direkt anledning att ta upp ämnet till diskussion just då, förstår ni? Vi pratade om bilar. Jag blev lite kränkt. Eller min fru sa att jag blev lite kränkt. Jag tror att jag i själva verket var väldigt sjuk. Men det skiter ju alla i.

Jag har i alla fall legat till sängs, och ibland till soffs, i flera veckor här och jag kunde faktiskt ha dött och när jag bad min fru att gå och köpa citron-Fanta till mig så kom hon hem med vanlig Fanta. VANLIG Fanta. Som om det skulle hjälpa mot NÅGONTING.

Så hur som helst.

När jag blev lite friskare fick jag ringa ett spa och be om hjälp att rädda mitt äktenskap. De var väldigt hjälpsamma. De frågade vad för typ av behandling jag trodde att min fru skulle kunna tänkas vilja ha mest av allt, och jag svarade ”hon har varit hemma med mig och barnen i typ en månad i sträck och vi har varit lite sjuka i omgångar, så…har ni någon behandling som går ut på att ni bara lämnar henne ifred i ett tyst rum i två timmar?”.

Hon har inte kommit hem än.

Jag är inte orolig, alltså. Jag säger bara.

Men hur som helst.

Missade jag något viktigt i världen medan jag var borta? Några bra Youtube-klipp eller så?

304 kommentarer

  4. Hahaha du är bäst! Är tacksam över att ha upptäckt dina böcker och bloggen. ”Du ska veta hur det känns när en riktig man är förkyld” Typ?

  5. Kul att du är tillbaka! Funderade på vad som hänt, men så går det när man jinxar. Du har min sympati om Fantan, orange är ju odrickbar och citron är underbar.

  8. Och Man U är så tråkiga att klockan stannar… Men krya på dig nu. Ja, sportlov är ju inte såå långt bort ?.

  10. Jag undrade vad som hänt. Flunsan är en accepterad ursäkt. Skönt att du kryat så mycket att du levererar livstecken. ?

  11. som att ”leva med en mimare. Som pratar hela tiden.”

    Hahaha, vilken bild jag får! Snyggt uttryckt av din fru!

  12. Det går en film på bio nu ”En man som heter Ove” Den kan jag varmt rekomendera! Bland det bästa jag sett<3 Ifall du missat detta alltså… Toppen att ha dig tillbaka:)

  14. Vet du att det finns läkarböcker som är utformade som ett frågeschema? Ex. Har du yrsel – ja eller nej, svarar man ja kommer nästa fråga och till slut hamnar man på en diagnos. Lite som bästa sortens brädspel! ?

  15. Härligt att du är tillbaks….världen smådör lite utan dina fyndigheter! 🙂

    Tror dock att ditt liv skulle te sig bra mycket friskare om du övergick till att inmundiga gudarnas riktiga nektar i form av den underskattade Trocaderon!

    Saxat från nätet:
    Trocadero, ibland Troca,[1] är en läskedryck med koffein som är smaksatt med apelsin och äpple. Den lanserades i Sverige sommaren 1953 av bryggeriet Saturnus AB i Malmö.[2] Trocadero har genom åren varit särskilt populär i Norrland och har kallats ”Norrlands nationaldryck”.[

  16. Jasså var det du själv som var sjuk! Det var otippat. Jag trodde du med din rubrik menade att du fått virus i datorn…. Stackars dator…..

  17. Jag förstår precis! Jag skulle göra hamburgare igår på ekologiskt svenskt kött (HICK) och bad maken om saltgurka. Han kom hem med SMÖRGÅSGURKA!?! Och jag har varit sjuk av det ena och andra sedan början av november. Då är jag ändå doktor…..Stackarn….silenceretreat i Borås kanske?

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