Fortplantning. Långsamt vansinne.

Igår tänkte jag titta på en tv-serie. Men sen tog det en timme att få våra barn att somna, och när de väl hade gjort det så somnade jag också. Sen  drömde jag hela natten att jag och barnen åkte båt och att jag om och om och om igen försökte få dem att gå och lägga sig och sova men att de vägrade och bara skrek mig i örat för att de ville ”HA FRUKOST!”. Och i drömmen bråkade jag med dem i flera timmar om att de minsann inte skulle få äta frukost om de inte SOV först! Och sen vaknade jag. Av att mina barn väckte mig och sa att de ville ha frukost.

Och då gick vi upp och jag var jättejättejättetrött och sen började barnen omedelbart tjata på mig om att de ville att jag skulle ”bygga en koja!”. Och jag orkade inte bygga en koja men jag orkade ännu mindre bråka om varför jag inte ville bygga en koja. Så jag byggde en koja. En skitfin koja. Jag jobbade verkligen väldigt hårt med den.

Och när jag var färdig så sa jag ”här är er koja”, och då började barnen fnissa hysteriskt och buffa varandra i sidorna och gapade ”vi vill inte HA en koja!”. Och när jag då undrade vad fan de menade med det så började de gapskratta och rullade runt på golvet och skrek ”vi vill inte ha en koja vi bara lurades så du har inte byggt en koja pappa du har byggt en SKOJA!!!”

Klockan var kvart över sex på morgonen när det här hände.

Vi kunde ha skaffat katt.

Jag är nästan säker på att det någonstans finns bevis på att jag någon gång runt 2009 vände mig till min fru och sa: ”Katt. Ska vi inte bara skaffa en katt istället?”.

128 kommentarer

  1. Jag frågade dig på Bokmässan vilket du skulle rekommendera – skaffa ett barn till eller nöja sig med ett. Och så åkte jag hem och läste Björnstad och vill bara skaffa en hel hög ungar, för skildringarna av syskonrelationerna är så jävla underbara.

  3. Jag har ett barn. Jag har även två katter.

    Katter är INTE bättre än barn när det gäller att få lugn och ro. Min 4-åring låter mig numera vara ifred på toaletten. Gör katterna det? Nej. Det krafsas på dörren, det jamas och en ska gärna sitta i badkaret och stirra på en medan man sitter på toaletten (ev med den andra katten gosande i ens knä där man sitter). De krafsar på sovrumsdörren 6-7 på morgonen för att de vill ha frukost alternativt lite uppmärksamhet efter en natt alldeles övergivna i lägenhetens övriga rum. 4-åringen? Han kliver helst inte upp före 8 om han inte måste. Helst inte före halv nio ens.

    Katterna? De kör race mitt i natten, de ryker ihop mer högljutt än alla världens barn tillsammans. De fäller päls och bajsar mer än vad ett barn gör.

    Å andra sidan sover de mer på dagarna än vad barn gör… och de är himla gosiga och söta. Och mysiga. Och bedårande. Och skitjobbiga.

    Som barn.

    Så äh. Det är vilket som. Katt eller barn, nästan samma sak.

  4. Fördelen med katter är att det är något mer accepterat att stänga in dem i tvättstugan under natten, även om jag varit nära att slänga in barnen där också.

  5. Tack för att dagen fick börja med ett skratt! Det behöver jag.
    Varför inte både ha både och? Skaffa katt. Väldigt mysigt. De sover nästan jämt. Trevligt sällskap på hemmakontoret.

  6. Eller en guldfisk som tränar ryggsim. Det är det jag vill ha just nu.

    Efter en natt med spädbarn som väcks av att kattjävlarna jamar/skriker vilket i sin tur väcker hunden som vaknar med ett skall vilket skrämmer ungen så hon börjar skrika hysteriskt och tar en halvtimme att lugna ner och få att somna om.
    Detta repeteras kl 12, halv 2, halv 4 samt kl 5.

    Guldfisk. Jag vill ha enbart en guldfisk.

  7. Om ni hade haft katt så hade kanske barnen lekt med den i stället för med dej och du hade fått sova lite till? Bara en tanke…..

  8. Inom en inte så avlägsen framtid kommer ditt problem att ändras Fredrik. Från att inte få sova till att inte få upp barnen ur sina sängar på morgonen överhuvudtaget. Så katter är verkligen trevliga! 😉

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