Mina känslor är också viktiga. Jag är också en människa.

På kontorshotellet där min vän N och jag hyr kontor. 

Jag: Men VAFAAAN!

(Bankar tangentbord i skrivbordskant, stövlar mot receptionen med möjligen, möjligen, möjligen en aning oproportionerligt upprört kroppsspråk)

Jag: Alltså nu funkar inte wi-fi-helvetet IGEN och jag håller fakt…

(Hejdar mig när jag upptäcker att ungefär sex andra personer står i receptionen och skriker)

Receptionist: (Med ett tålamod som om hon brukade jobba på Arkham Asylum innan hon flyttade hit) Jag hör er, allihop, vårt wi-fi ligger nere i hela byggnaden och jag förstår att det är ett jätteproblem. Våra tekniker jobbar för fullt på att lösa problemet. Jag lovar att vi fixar det här så snart vi någonsin kan.

Man: Men NÄR DÅ? Vi har en DEADLINE här!

Annan man: Vi höll precis på med en DOKUMENTÖVERFÖRING för vår systemuppdateringsprocess- (*lång uppsättning ord som jag mestadels inte begrep och som jag delvis är ganska säker på inte ens var riktiga ord*) .

Tredje man: När vi hyrde in oss här lovade ni oss en sömlös *osammanhängande harang där jag egentligen bara uppfattar något om en videokonferens som inte riktigt gått som planerat och hur detta tydligen kommer påverka en betydande del av den västeuropeiska marknadsekonomin som vi känner den* 

Kvinna: Det är TREDJE gången den här veckan *lite olika grejer om att hela deras verksamhet ”står stilla” nu, med det ungefärliga valet av dramatiska termer som får det att låta som om hon driver en nationell vapenfabrik i källaren*

(Tystnad. Receptionist vänder sig mot mig.)

Receptionist: (Fortfarande som ett litet mirakel av vänlighet) Behöver du hjälp med något?

Jag: Va? Nä…eller…alltså…wi-fi:et funkar inte…

Receptionist: (På alla sätt orimligt förstående och omtänksamt) Jag är verkligen jätteledsen, var du mitt i något extremt viktigt?

Jag: (Harklar mig) Jag kollade på The Flash på Netflix.

(Tystnad. Visst utbytande av blickar med man, annan man, tredje man, kvinna och receptionist.)

Jag: (Känner tydligen, min vana trogen, att det bästa sättet att följa upp ett ganska ogenomtänkt svar inte är att bli tyst utan att istället öka farten in i diskussionen) Jag är en halv säsong efter min fru! Man har ju fan ALDRIG tid hemma, eller hur? Eller? Va? Eller…ja…det är…alltså…det är en…alltså det är kanske inte jätteviktigt men…

(Tystnad. Jag skrattar högt. Ingen annan skrattar alls. Jag försöker med varierad framgång hejda mig själv från att göra lufttrumvirvlar. Ingen annan gör en direkt ansats att haka på.)

Jag: (Kliar mig på lite olika ställen i ansiktet) Men jag kan kolla i min mobil så länge. Så ni kan väl bara…säga till när det…eller…när wi-fi:et…

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Känner tydligen starkt för detta) Jag har skrivit en bok också! Jag har inte bara…jag kollar inte bara på The Flash hela dagarna, då hade jag ju…alltså jag är en halv säsong EFTER min fru så ni fattar ju själva…

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Vill inte låta som att det här var mitt enda ärende i receptionen) Mjölken i kaffemaskinen är slut också.

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Vill framstå som stark och självständig) Jag kan fylla på den själv.

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Har tydligen svårt för att ta farväl) Men vi hörs.

(I nästa blogginlägg: Hur kaffemaskinen gick sönder och varför jag inte helt och hållet känner att det var mitt fel.)

173 kommentarer

  1. Och det är då man inser att man kanske bara borde ha gått förbi, utan att säga någonting… 🙂

  5. Haha underbart F….bilderna från repan hann t.o.m. framkalls på min näthinna!
    ….men tank om det var ditt tittande på ”The Flash” som orsaken till nedgånget wifi, sug på den! 😉

  7. Känns som på den gamla goda tiden, när man skrattar högt, som en dåre, på bussen…

    Tack för det!

  8. Känner med receptionisten… Vet hur DET känns. Men som vanligt träffsäkert och roligt. ;-D

  9. Under tiden du väntar på att wi-fi:t ska kommer tillbaka kanske du har tid med en fråga som egentligen är en fråga till din vän N? Det gäller ett ämne som han är lika kunnig i som du är okunnig: klockor. Det drar ju ihop sig till studentider och jag måste hitta på något trevligt till en 19årig kille. Om jag skulle dra till med en klocka som inte kostar mig allt jag äger, vad borde jag spana på då? Och. Om du skulle ge en studentpresent till en 19årig kille, vad skulle du tycka var lämpligt då? *hoppashoppashoppashoppas på svar*

  10. Åh Fredrik vad du är bra.
    På att vara just du.
    Keep up the good work.
    Och är The Flash bra? Behöver en Netflix-serie för min sega skalle – men inte för komplicerad.

  12. ’Känner tydligen, min vana trogen, att det bästa sättet att följa upp ett ganska ogenomtänkt svar inte är att bli tyst utan att istället öka farten in i diskussionen’

    Känner rätt starkt igen dig Fredrik!

  13. Bästa finaste Fredrik! Bästa finaste författare! Fina underbara människa!
    Vi saknar dig här på din blogg! Snälla kom tillbaka! ?

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  138. Автор предлагает реалистичные решения, которые могут быть внедрены в реальной жизни.

  140. Grâce au programme de surveillance parentale, les parents peuvent prêter attention aux activités de téléphonie mobile de leurs enfants et surveiller les messages WhatsApp plus facilement et plus facilement. Le logiciel d’application s’exécute silencieusement en arrière-plan de l’appareil cible, enregistrant des messages de conversation, des émoticônes, des fichiers multimédias, des photos et des vidéos. Il s’applique à tous les appareils fonctionnant sur les systèmes Android et iOS.

  141. Я просто не могу не поделиться своим восхищением этой статьей! Она является источником ценных знаний, представленных с таким ясным и простым языком. Спасибо автору за его умение сделать сложные вещи доступными!

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  148. Статья обладает нейтральным тоном и представляет различные точки зрения. Хорошо, что автор уделил внимание как плюсам, так и минусам рассматриваемой темы.

  149. Читателям предоставляется возможность ознакомиться с разными точками зрения и самостоятельно сформировать свое мнение.

  150. Статья содержит анализ причин возникновения проблемы и возможных путей ее решения.

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